Thursday, April 10, 2014

Uprooting the Sick Shrubs

Sometimes my mind is a mess - a tangle of wires with too much emotional current. Tackling an individual problem (like outbursts of temper) isn't too hard, but when the connections between various weaknesses become apparent, it can be pretty overwhelming. Basically I have two root problems, and all the others are the branches. Healing would have to mean uprooting the sick shrubs, not just pruning them.

Root: Anger

Inability to adequately express (to express the emotion without causing hurt to others or self)
Passive communication style
Lack of assertiveness
Passive/aggressive communication style
Negativity/cynicism/grumpiness
Difficulty with all relationships
Difficulty with frustration
Jumping to conclusions/making assumptions
Overly serious moods, brooding
Lack of playfulness
Negative thinking

Root: Self-Obsession/Self Loathing

Low self-esteem
Hate my body
Hate my face
Shame about androgyny
Nicotine addiction
Caffeine addiction
Insecurity, generalized
Inability to relax
Anxiety
Malingering
Hours-long out-of-control emotional periods
Weak friendships