Sunday, September 15, 2013

Two Songs about Bramble Childress

Today I'm going to share these two songs about the Reverend Bramble Childress, pastor of First Galilean Church of the Nazarene (Complete Gospel) in Locustville, SC. Maybe I've put these out here before; I'm not sure. Whatever, here they are again or for the first time. 

The first one's untitled (I suppose we could just call it "Reverend Bramble Childress") and is a shorter "character sketch" type of song. The second is a ballad based on his controversial exorcism of a local teenage boy.

Reverend Bramble Childress
Ain't from around these parts.
But he show can impress our women;
He show can steal they hearts.
His eyes are thunderstorms;
His smile's a lightning bolt.
Though his hair's all white
No one knows how old.

Reverend Bramble Childress
Is the fastest talker around.
He could sell charcoal to the devil
Or convince "up" it's really "down."
When he gets up in the pulpit
All his flock agree
They would follow him through hell
If it was necess'ry.

Reverend Bramble Childress
Is a servant of the Lord.
He cast them devils out
With his demon-killin' sword.
He exorcised ol' Brandon Boyles
'Til B.B. couldn't see,
But saved him from the Lake of Fire
And suffering eternally.



Take me down to the Old Black River
Deep in the Dark Woods.
Take me down to the Old Black River
Way out in those Dark Woods.
Baptise me in cool November
Knee deep in red mud.

Bramble Childress wore his fav'rite
Blue seersucker suit.
Rev'rend Childress had on his fav'rite
Blue seersucker suit,
With his shock of hair all white
And his cheap patent leather shoes.

Ol' Brandon Boyles come out of nowhere,
Started spreading the devil's lies.
B.B. Boyles come out of nowhere,
Telling the devil's lies.
Gave the congregation quite a scare,
My oh my oh my.

The sunlight was starting to get dim;
The water was getting cold.
Said the sunlight was a gettin' dim;
The water getting cold.
O'l B.B. had some demon in him
Fighting for his soul.

Everyone was feeling kinda nervous,
Wondering what would happen next.
Everyone was getting kinda nervous,
Not knowing what would happen next.
The sunset hardly reassured us
With that demon standing in our midst.

Well, Bramble Childress looked that devil
Square in his red eye.
Yes, Rev. Childress stared that devil
Right in his red eye.
But he'd never sink down to his level;
Rev. Childress would rather die.

Well, a demon exorcism
Was Rev. Childress' only choice.
Yes a demon exorcism
Was the Rev'rend's only choice.
He proclaimed "the Lord hath risen!"
In his husky gravel voice.

Bramble Childress knew an uppercut
Could drive that demon out.
Said Rev. Childress hoped an uppercut
Would knock that demon out.
He clocked him, kicked him in the gut
And cried "Out demon! Get out!"

The Rev'rend's flock just stood agape
At the scene that they had witnessed.
The congregation stood agape
At the scene that they just witnessed.
Skinny B.B. was in sorry shape;
Rev. Childress'd beat him witless.

They dragged ol' B. up to the bank
Without an ounce of doubt.
They dragged B.B. up on the bank
Without a shred of doubt
That they should give the Rev'rend thanks
For driving that demon out.

So take me down to the Old Black River
Save this drowning man.
Said take me down to the Old Black River
Save this drowning man.
Baptize me in cool November;
Let me bathe in the Blood of the Lamb.