Saturday, June 22, 2013

The Smells of West Virginia

Last weekend I took a relaxing trip to West Virginia. Here's what it smelled like.

1. The Chestnut Tree
Affectionately called the "cum tree" for its odoriferous resemblance to semen. At first unpleasant due to its enveloping pervasiveness, acknowledgement of the chestnut's service to those who partake of the flesh of its fruit leads one to relish its spermy smell, to celebrate the goodness of its reproductivity.

2. Honeysuckle
Choking out whatever trees or shrubs it grows upon, honeysuckle wafts cheerily wherever the breeze invites it, unimpeded by exhaust or other pollusive olfactory noise. Deep draughts bring relaxation and contentment; its very delicacy inspires one to seek the source. Its odor is a well to a thirsty traveler, tired from long miles sipping only chemical fumes.

3. Sweet Grass, Freshly Mowed
Catches the nose suddenly, fleetingly, a dulcet treat for the olfactory organs. Now it's here; now it's gone, like the last light of a firefly before it expires.

4. Cow Manure
In varying degrees of freshness, it fertilizes fields of grasses and daisies become bovine buffet. To inhale its grassy scent is to grasp the lifecycle in the nostrils, to synesthetically, olfactorily "see" the unending wheel of change - birth, growth, decline, death, decay, renewal - in all its plainness and ineluctability.

5. Air
Unadulterated, unaltered in its chemical composition by the gears of industry or transport. It is clean and fresh, thus odorless, revealing the intoxicating bouquet of nature unfiltered. To breathe here is to live fully, with one's labor free of the stress of speed and inhuman efficiency.